You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
