For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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