During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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