I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
