I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
