ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
