she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
