So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
