well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
