I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
