ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
