rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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