spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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