what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sext me about skeletons
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
