I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
