do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
