That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
