i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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