We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
