Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
