Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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