First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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