i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
