Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
