Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
