I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
