FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
