i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
