Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
