'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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