how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize