I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You took a bar mat shot.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
