I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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