belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
