She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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