You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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