I wish I only lived at night.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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