Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
