I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
