Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
