i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to calm my uterus...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
