At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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