you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So much rum. So many feels.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
