I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
