You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
