My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
