Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
