3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to calm my uterus...
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