I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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