You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
